In a dream time circle where we met our future generations, 100, years into the future. I was asked by my great, great, great, grandchild, what did I do to help turn the tide when the Earth was on the brink of destruction. The answer below is what flowed.
I dreamt of you. You where my inspiration. Seeing you in a the world that you were thriving in, with the balance of the mind and the heart, technology and nature and with the realization that all are one, related, made me realize that the change was easy.
I stopped colluding with the assumptions that change had to be traumatic. I knew that this as not going to be a revolution, but rather an evolution of the human heart and mind. Others shared this vision and we found each other. Together, we knew that our dreams would change the tide so all could enjoy the world we dreamed for you. Our hearts opened, we saw technology as a friend that could help the Earth. As the systems failed we were here with our love and vision to help other use their talents to change the world so our grandchildren would survive and our great grandchildren would thrive.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Beyond Infinity Bob Blog - October
There is a loud crash and I see trees are falling into the crevice below. I see their roots are they topple down. As I look around for the cause I realize that I am a tree that is growing larger and as I grow I am pushing other trees off the cliff. As more trees fall, I get closer and closer to the edge and I am in danger of toppling in to the darkness below.
I awake.
There is the archetypical image of the clown, a the holy fool, or the idiot, that dances on this edge. This person has the beginner mind and is ready for a journey, a change, and to fall if necessary. There exist the danger of falling, of failure, but with each failure, there exist the chance for redemption and rebirth.
I have spent too much of my time living in the safety of the dark forrest.
My whole life, I have fought for independence. I made on my own, denying and rejecting help. To my friends and family that you have stayed with me, you are truly generous for putting up with me in spite of the asshole I am and was.
And now, I realize that I was hiding from the rest of the forrest by growing into tree as I pushed other trees out of my way.
But now, I am at the edge, ready to leap.
It is an exciting time to making a move. It is also, a scary time because I need to leave the comfort of the forrest that has hidden me for so long and expose myself with all my faults to universe.
I am jumping off the edge and risking failure. I know that I can no longer make it all alone in this world. The support of the tribe is necessary in every way to how this story will turn out. The love and support, I give and receive, no matter how small it seems, will feed this and keep us going. As our ego accepts its death then our evolution to communal beings can be realized. Instead of being one tree, I hope to grow with the new forrest of that is interconnected.
So it is now time for me to step up and learn become interdependent with the community around me. To open and receive all this life has to offer. No more hiding.
There is a big rock that I climb up on with at least ten others. On this rock we are all one, teachers and students with our different perspectives, beliefs and visions. As we learn from each other our burdens are lighten, our mistaken beliefs discarded and our love expanded. We begin to dream and the rock rises into the air like some spaceship hovering over the earth. United together in vision, we can truly move mountains.
I awake with renewed hope.
I awake.
There is the archetypical image of the clown, a the holy fool, or the idiot, that dances on this edge. This person has the beginner mind and is ready for a journey, a change, and to fall if necessary. There exist the danger of falling, of failure, but with each failure, there exist the chance for redemption and rebirth.
I have spent too much of my time living in the safety of the dark forrest.
My whole life, I have fought for independence. I made on my own, denying and rejecting help. To my friends and family that you have stayed with me, you are truly generous for putting up with me in spite of the asshole I am and was.
And now, I realize that I was hiding from the rest of the forrest by growing into tree as I pushed other trees out of my way.
But now, I am at the edge, ready to leap.
It is an exciting time to making a move. It is also, a scary time because I need to leave the comfort of the forrest that has hidden me for so long and expose myself with all my faults to universe.
I am jumping off the edge and risking failure. I know that I can no longer make it all alone in this world. The support of the tribe is necessary in every way to how this story will turn out. The love and support, I give and receive, no matter how small it seems, will feed this and keep us going. As our ego accepts its death then our evolution to communal beings can be realized. Instead of being one tree, I hope to grow with the new forrest of that is interconnected.
So it is now time for me to step up and learn become interdependent with the community around me. To open and receive all this life has to offer. No more hiding.
There is a big rock that I climb up on with at least ten others. On this rock we are all one, teachers and students with our different perspectives, beliefs and visions. As we learn from each other our burdens are lighten, our mistaken beliefs discarded and our love expanded. We begin to dream and the rock rises into the air like some spaceship hovering over the earth. United together in vision, we can truly move mountains.
I awake with renewed hope.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Global Fire Vigil Weekend - The Pachamama Stick
During the fire vigil we kept a Pachamama stick close to the fire to honor and blow are prayers for the Earth into. During the closing ceremony, the stick was place into the fire by two expectant mothers.
What a privilege to have this energy of motherhood here and what an honor for us to have them to remind us that how important our thoughts, actions and deeds are to those who will inherit the Earth from us.
In Gratitude,
Bob
Global Fire Vigil Weekend - Work in Joy
Let the joyous work begin!
The Q'ero remind us that we that this work should come from joy. After a week of laughing, hugging joking, and loving with the Q'ero this seems to be in my heart, too. What amazing medicine men, how they hold their love of all with such humility. They can laugh and joke with one another and still hold space where we can contribute to the healing of the world. It is such a honor to be apart of this.
As Don Francisco said, " I am here to help grow large trees"!
Our light shining together is the forest.
With love to all,
Bob
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Global Fire Vigil Weekend - Saturday update
The fire burns!
Today we had a sacred drama for the healing of the world and brought to the fire our lessons to go out into the world. We also had a conversation with our future generation, seven generations into the future. There was much hope and love in this connection. We also brought these gifts to the fire to share with you all.
Tonight, we prepare to receive the Taitanchi Ranti, Creator Rites, from the Q'ero and to be taken on a Wonder Voyage in a happy ship of fools to the other lands by our Irish delagation. Wish us luck on our journeys.
We hope that all is well with your fires and we send our love and blessings.
Con Munay,
Bob
Friday, September 19, 2008
Global Fire Vigil Weekend - update
After the creation of a medicine wheel and bringing in each of the the four directions at the mythic level, we lit a candle from each of the four directions and brought it to the fire pit. Don Francisco and Don Humberto lit our fire and it took off. Ashes were added from connecting the fire from sacred fires from all over the world. We added a Pachamama stick to the fire and sang songs, people played instruments and we created a happy fire. There was much joy around the fire as we received the Mosek Karpi, Star Keeper rites. One by one our numbers dwindled until the three fire keepers where holding vigil. A beautiful end to a beautiful day here at our vigil.
Con Munay,
Global Fire Vigil Weekend
Dear Friends, old and new,
What an incredible week here at Wakewood leading up to the Global Fire Vigil.
We have just finished three days or ceremony with the Q’ero. Don Francisco and Don Humberto are here with Wake and Kinlen in ceremony as we hold space and continue our sacred work in this community.
We have had folks here representing four continents, North America, South America, Australia and Ireland, err, I mean Europe.
We have had claimed our light at a fire ceremony and enriched our community by recognizing the gifts of this world that we are stewards of.
We have received the Pampa Mesayok, Day Keeper, Alto Mesayok, Wisdom Keeper and Kurak Akuyek, Earth Keeper rites.
We have connected our Apus, mountians, with all the mountains of our community and were cheered on by whales as we did.
We created a dispacio to carry the seeds of our becoming beyond the world to the universe. And watched it burn as we told the story of the world.
We have created a world mandala to to shine our light, our love and our being into the world, as a despacio and saw the Mamachoca, ocean, come and accept our prayers to carry forward.
Last night we enjoyed a performance of didjeridu by Tyler Spencer who made an incredible contemporary sound with an ancient instrument.
And we are still hours away from lighting the fire.
Exciting times!
I will be live blogging during the weekend to keep our community posted. We have set up the Beyond Infinity Bob blog that will allow you all to reach it and comment on your experiences.
Below is a description of the event. Please join us if you can.
Peace, love and light,
Bob
The Gathering of Shaman:
Global Vigil Fire
Co-created by Wake and Kinlen Wheeler, and the Global Ayllu of trained Shaman, including Don Francisco, and Don Humberto of the Q’eros.
September 19-21, 2008
This fall, over the Equinox weekend, we will be joining together again to continue to weave the New Global Tapestry. We will bring together all our hearts desires and visions of what the world can be. We will join each other in the fire and offer this weaving of visionary threads out to the Universe to conspire and co-create with us. Last year we had over 50 fires connected in this beautiful dream. Many of us feel this is the work we were born to do.
Logistics:
The Vigil Fire will begin Friday around 8 pm, Pacific Time and be tended by shaman, and dreamed through until Sunday at noon Pacific Time.
You may participate in any form you wish. Some people gather together in small groups, others prefer to dream in personal meditation. Some have a large bon fire, others a small fire, others create an alter with candles. Some use sacred drama to help shift or miqui heavy energy for the collective, some play music, dance, sing, etc… This is your opportunity to create a gift for the world and send it out in your own unique way.
What we have noticed in doing world work:
Wake and I have found, as with most shamanic work, that it is important to work through our selves, and be careful not to project on to the earth. It is important that if we feel the earth has been damaged, that we look for that damage within and use our shamanic tools to work with it there.
We have also found that if you have done much of your personal work, you have already contributed to the cleansing of energy in the world. It is now time to plant new seeds, nurture them, and dream big. All gardens have little weeds, but if we use our time always weeding, we have just barren ground. We need to spend most of our time planting and tending the seeds of our vision.
World Map we have a big world map showing all the participants names/locations. We will share our experience through e-mail. If you intend to join this vigil fire, please e-mail your name, location and comments to me, so you can be included on the Map, and in the e-mail communications.
HYPERLINK "mailto:kinlen@sacredpathways.us" kinlen@sacredpathways.us.
We’ll see you in the fire,
Much love and Blessings,
Kinlen and Wake
What an incredible week here at Wakewood leading up to the Global Fire Vigil.
We have just finished three days or ceremony with the Q’ero. Don Francisco and Don Humberto are here with Wake and Kinlen in ceremony as we hold space and continue our sacred work in this community.
We have had folks here representing four continents, North America, South America, Australia and Ireland, err, I mean Europe.
We have had claimed our light at a fire ceremony and enriched our community by recognizing the gifts of this world that we are stewards of.
We have received the Pampa Mesayok, Day Keeper, Alto Mesayok, Wisdom Keeper and Kurak Akuyek, Earth Keeper rites.
We have connected our Apus, mountians, with all the mountains of our community and were cheered on by whales as we did.
We created a dispacio to carry the seeds of our becoming beyond the world to the universe. And watched it burn as we told the story of the world.
We have created a world mandala to to shine our light, our love and our being into the world, as a despacio and saw the Mamachoca, ocean, come and accept our prayers to carry forward.
Last night we enjoyed a performance of didjeridu by Tyler Spencer who made an incredible contemporary sound with an ancient instrument.
And we are still hours away from lighting the fire.
Exciting times!
I will be live blogging during the weekend to keep our community posted. We have set up the Beyond Infinity Bob blog that will allow you all to reach it and comment on your experiences.
Below is a description of the event. Please join us if you can.
Peace, love and light,
Bob
The Gathering of Shaman:
Global Vigil Fire
Co-created by Wake and Kinlen Wheeler, and the Global Ayllu of trained Shaman, including Don Francisco, and Don Humberto of the Q’eros.
September 19-21, 2008
This fall, over the Equinox weekend, we will be joining together again to continue to weave the New Global Tapestry. We will bring together all our hearts desires and visions of what the world can be. We will join each other in the fire and offer this weaving of visionary threads out to the Universe to conspire and co-create with us. Last year we had over 50 fires connected in this beautiful dream. Many of us feel this is the work we were born to do.
Logistics:
The Vigil Fire will begin Friday around 8 pm, Pacific Time and be tended by shaman, and dreamed through until Sunday at noon Pacific Time.
You may participate in any form you wish. Some people gather together in small groups, others prefer to dream in personal meditation. Some have a large bon fire, others a small fire, others create an alter with candles. Some use sacred drama to help shift or miqui heavy energy for the collective, some play music, dance, sing, etc… This is your opportunity to create a gift for the world and send it out in your own unique way.
What we have noticed in doing world work:
Wake and I have found, as with most shamanic work, that it is important to work through our selves, and be careful not to project on to the earth. It is important that if we feel the earth has been damaged, that we look for that damage within and use our shamanic tools to work with it there.
We have also found that if you have done much of your personal work, you have already contributed to the cleansing of energy in the world. It is now time to plant new seeds, nurture them, and dream big. All gardens have little weeds, but if we use our time always weeding, we have just barren ground. We need to spend most of our time planting and tending the seeds of our vision.
World Map we have a big world map showing all the participants names/locations. We will share our experience through e-mail. If you intend to join this vigil fire, please e-mail your name, location and comments to me, so you can be included on the Map, and in the e-mail communications.
HYPERLINK "mailto:kinlen@sacredpathways.us" kinlen@sacredpathways.us.
We’ll see you in the fire,
Much love and Blessings,
Kinlen and Wake
Pachatusan: The Axis of the Universe
After the Amazon, a long boat ride and a longer wait in the airport where we had time to say goodbye to those who were leaving us, we had a short flight to Cusco. After landing From Cusco, it was a hour and a half bus ride to the Sacred Valley we back in a nice hotel with hot running water. Yeah!
Most of us rested, ate a big lunch, and found someone around the hotel to wash our much soiled clothes from the jungle. And of course shop.
In the night we had opening ceremony and welcomed new friends to the journey. The next day was a warm up hike to Pisaq and a despacio ceremony with the Q’ero. At the end of the ceremony we received the Earth Keeper Rites passed on by the Q’ero.
We started our ascent to our base camp on Pachatusan at a ranch above the Temple of the Waters are Tipon. Last year, on my birthday, I was baptized, naked, in a fountain at Tipon after receiving the healers rites, which were our last rites of the trip, but, the first rites of the Munay Ki, to remind us that the trip was over but the journey was beginning,
That night, a year ago, I received a healing with Don Martin, the ceremonial leader of Pachatusan, who “aligned me with spirit”. I returned from that trip, quit my job and here I am back to mountain where it all began.
On this hike we would not be bathing for four more days. The hike was a leisurely climb up hill to the base camp at 12,000 feet above sea level. It took about three or four hours to make it to base camp. Here we sat up tents and rested the afternoon away.
In the afternoon, Don Martin and his daughter, Vilma, arrived. At dusk we started a ceremony with them and the Q’ero. This ceremony was to open our hearts. We started with despacio, and then were opened by Don Martin, cleansed with condor feathers by Vilma, and blessed by Dona Bernadina. As the ceremony ended, the full moon rose over the mountain on queue. The medicine people started to play their instruments, drums and flutes, we all started dancing and hugging. This was our first day on Pachatusan with open hearts and full of love for the adventure ahead.
The next day, we took a short walk to a lagoon about a kilometer from base camp. Here we head ceremony for the lagoon to be able to step through the lagoon and taste infinity. At this ceremony, we did a despacio, had our altars blessed and received the Star Rites. It was a beautiful ceremony as Don Martin and Don Pascal put offerings on a rock altar in the center of the lagoon.
I was not feeling well. I had gotten a sinus infection somewhere between the heat of the jungle and the cool of the mountain. Also, having not been traveling for awhile, my herbs to treat it where in the medicine cabinet at home. When the ceremony broke, I decided to make a beeline to camp and rest.
Upon arriving, I put my mattress pad on the ground outside the tent and tried to sleep. Here I was mothered, by Sara, who brought me soup, tee and healing herbs. Christine and Paul also came through with some Emergen C. It was a little hard for me to not reject their help, but I managed to receive and promised to pay forward. I learned to be grateful to receive such good care.
That night I had a despacio with Don Pascal. He had me spit into some herbs that he placed in the despacio. This was different for the the ayni despacios that are normally done. I was still feeling pretty bad as he built it up. I placed prayers in it for my mother up coming surgery as well as for my continued good fortune. After the despacio was finished Don Pascal kept it wrapped up and did not give it to me to burn as was the custom.
Later at the fire ceremony, he placed it on the fire last. The next day I felt much better and was able to climb to 14,000 feet for ceremony.
We were going up to a lagoon at 14,000 feet. In the morning I loaded up on the coca tea. I was feeling better, but still not my frisky self. Once we started to climb though, I was at peace and knew that I would make it.
Some of us remain in camp to have ceremony there, some went to the half way point and returned to join with the camp ceremony and the rest went to the lagoon to receive the Creator Rites and the blessings by Don Matin and Don Pascal.
The spot was beautiful, a little crater of valley off the peak of Pachatusan. There was a lagoon with a piece of blue plastic tarp that had blown into the center of it. It seems that there is plastic everywhere you go these days. If we considered the clean up cost into the price of plastic or we would use it very sparsely and in things that are meant to last forever.
As we ate our lunch the medicine people went around and collected rocks to keep our altars. Some rested, some took photos and some did Chi Gong while we waited for ceremony. There was music from the Medicine people and, as away, Don Basillio was looking to dance. It was beautiful day, bright sun and warm conditions.
The medicine people set up a circle with flowers and we put out altars together in this circle. There in the middle was incense and we started the despacio. Later we removed our altars from the circle to receive our rites and blessings. Don Martin looked at me and I went first. Some would say the guinea pig, which some raise under their beds for food in Peru.
I received both the rite and the blessing in the circle. Later, they made two lines to speed things up. I was told that one I was receiving one on the rites, over the incense that a flame shot up between my legs and Don Martin put it out. Maybe, it was my message from the universe lighting a candle under my ass and get moving.
After the ceremony we washed the stones in our altars in the lagoon to give them a cleansing. There was dancing, it was Dree’s birthday and she enjoyed many dances with two young medicine men as the music played on.
There was a group that took an offering to the top of the mountain. The rest, we hiked back down the mountain where we were all greeted by those who staid below with hugs and smiles. We had a great lunch of fish and rice and rested.
In the evening some of the villager came by for an allotment of rice, beans and cooking oil. They were all smiles and we all felt good.
That night, I got up to pee. As I was standing looking at the spot where the lagoon was I saw a shooting star. This star was brighter that all the others I has seen and it was if a ball of bright, white, light flew from the lagoon and into space. I was lucky to witness it. Later, I got back into my sleeping bag and dreamed that the spirit of the mountain came to me and gave me additional rites. I could feel the my body being moved as this dream was taking place. It was as real to me as the rites I had received previous my “real” people. I am still working through this download.
The next day, some of us, were doing a long walk from camp. It was maybe a 8 mile walk with a 3000 foot vertical at the end. But we would see heart shaped lagoons and have ceremony among them.
We were told to get a stone and blow in all our limiting beliefs into it. At first, I grab a big stone to hold all my such beliefs. I was showing people the big stone to hold all my shit and Alberto said that should be the first belief to let go of - I need a big stone. He was right. All the work I have done over the last couple years, the changes I have made and I still act like that fuck up kid from high school sometimes. Enough of that, I am really quite OK, thank you very much for the opportunities to improve. I got a smaller stone.
This was day of the winter solstice and when the sun rose over Pachatusan, we standing in between the conversation of the sun and the moon. Tammy, Gina and Sara and I just kind of stood there taking in all the love the sun and the moon where sharing. It was very cool to be at the axis of the universe while this conversation was happening.
The time came and us hikers headed off into the moon, we headed west . The walk was good. It is somehow cleansing to walk in the mountains. As I walked, many useless thoughts bubbled up and they were blow into the stone. We also used the stone to cleanse parts of the body that needed repair.
On the way I saw the eye from my Ayahuasca journeys in the form of a stone circle. It kind of blew me away that this theme keeps appearing in my journeys. However, there was a strong connection to this mountain, from last years ceremony on my birthday, having to be there his trip, to receiving rites from the mountain to seeing a strong symbol in my Ayahuasca journeys it all made me realist that there is something here for me to take into my life.
Our first stop was a rock outcropping where it was suppose to bring fertility if you touch it. Thinking that condoms are cheaper that fertility treatment, I gave it try. After a short rest and some photos we walked on. Finally, we came to a heart shape lake. Moving a little further we came to a semi heart shaped like where we would have a quick ceremony. First Don Martin and Don Pascal cleared the lake of the cows that were enjoying a drink there. Then the prepared the space as we ate lunch and rested.
It was a quick ceremony for we still had much to walk. We took our limiting belief stone and a cup of red wine. First we throw the wine into the lake and then the stone. The we made an offering of coca leaves and flowers to place in the lake. We then got blessed by Don Martin and Don Basillio.
With the ceremony over it was time to hit the road again. We walked a little further to come to a site on top of the world. There way down in the valley was a red, roofed church that was our destination. There were three or more crosses that pilgrims from the church would walk up to place blessings. I made a blessing for my mothers up coming surgery and placed it under a stone.
On the way down the trail was littered with plastic bottles and cigarette butts. I thought that after plastic is controlled we will have to organize litter travel trips where people go to all over remote sites in the world to pick up the plastic that is everywhere. We could melt it all down and find purpose for it worthy of a thousand years.
We walked and walked and walked down hill until our toes we screaming to be let out of our shoes. Or at least that was how it was for me. Finally, we made it to the church at the bottom to wait for the bus. There at the church in the back there was a little window with a waca. A waca is a intense energy that is somethings place on things to bring them in alignment with the world. This waca has been in existence for longer that the church. I held my hands to the waca and could feel a rush of energy around my heart like it was doing another cleaning. It was intense and I waited and went for another ride after we all had a turn.
My time in Peru has definitely cleared my heart. For the first time in years I feel I can show my true self without any attachment. It was great to have such a heart opening trip.
Later, I dreamt of a team of mountain climbers that was stranded on a mountain. The message was return with the gifts on the mountain. And once again the ending of a trip and the beginning of a journey.
Most of us rested, ate a big lunch, and found someone around the hotel to wash our much soiled clothes from the jungle. And of course shop.
In the night we had opening ceremony and welcomed new friends to the journey. The next day was a warm up hike to Pisaq and a despacio ceremony with the Q’ero. At the end of the ceremony we received the Earth Keeper Rites passed on by the Q’ero.
We started our ascent to our base camp on Pachatusan at a ranch above the Temple of the Waters are Tipon. Last year, on my birthday, I was baptized, naked, in a fountain at Tipon after receiving the healers rites, which were our last rites of the trip, but, the first rites of the Munay Ki, to remind us that the trip was over but the journey was beginning,
That night, a year ago, I received a healing with Don Martin, the ceremonial leader of Pachatusan, who “aligned me with spirit”. I returned from that trip, quit my job and here I am back to mountain where it all began.
On this hike we would not be bathing for four more days. The hike was a leisurely climb up hill to the base camp at 12,000 feet above sea level. It took about three or four hours to make it to base camp. Here we sat up tents and rested the afternoon away.
In the afternoon, Don Martin and his daughter, Vilma, arrived. At dusk we started a ceremony with them and the Q’ero. This ceremony was to open our hearts. We started with despacio, and then were opened by Don Martin, cleansed with condor feathers by Vilma, and blessed by Dona Bernadina. As the ceremony ended, the full moon rose over the mountain on queue. The medicine people started to play their instruments, drums and flutes, we all started dancing and hugging. This was our first day on Pachatusan with open hearts and full of love for the adventure ahead.
The next day, we took a short walk to a lagoon about a kilometer from base camp. Here we head ceremony for the lagoon to be able to step through the lagoon and taste infinity. At this ceremony, we did a despacio, had our altars blessed and received the Star Rites. It was a beautiful ceremony as Don Martin and Don Pascal put offerings on a rock altar in the center of the lagoon.
I was not feeling well. I had gotten a sinus infection somewhere between the heat of the jungle and the cool of the mountain. Also, having not been traveling for awhile, my herbs to treat it where in the medicine cabinet at home. When the ceremony broke, I decided to make a beeline to camp and rest.
Upon arriving, I put my mattress pad on the ground outside the tent and tried to sleep. Here I was mothered, by Sara, who brought me soup, tee and healing herbs. Christine and Paul also came through with some Emergen C. It was a little hard for me to not reject their help, but I managed to receive and promised to pay forward. I learned to be grateful to receive such good care.
That night I had a despacio with Don Pascal. He had me spit into some herbs that he placed in the despacio. This was different for the the ayni despacios that are normally done. I was still feeling pretty bad as he built it up. I placed prayers in it for my mother up coming surgery as well as for my continued good fortune. After the despacio was finished Don Pascal kept it wrapped up and did not give it to me to burn as was the custom.
Later at the fire ceremony, he placed it on the fire last. The next day I felt much better and was able to climb to 14,000 feet for ceremony.
We were going up to a lagoon at 14,000 feet. In the morning I loaded up on the coca tea. I was feeling better, but still not my frisky self. Once we started to climb though, I was at peace and knew that I would make it.
Some of us remain in camp to have ceremony there, some went to the half way point and returned to join with the camp ceremony and the rest went to the lagoon to receive the Creator Rites and the blessings by Don Matin and Don Pascal.
The spot was beautiful, a little crater of valley off the peak of Pachatusan. There was a lagoon with a piece of blue plastic tarp that had blown into the center of it. It seems that there is plastic everywhere you go these days. If we considered the clean up cost into the price of plastic or we would use it very sparsely and in things that are meant to last forever.
As we ate our lunch the medicine people went around and collected rocks to keep our altars. Some rested, some took photos and some did Chi Gong while we waited for ceremony. There was music from the Medicine people and, as away, Don Basillio was looking to dance. It was beautiful day, bright sun and warm conditions.
The medicine people set up a circle with flowers and we put out altars together in this circle. There in the middle was incense and we started the despacio. Later we removed our altars from the circle to receive our rites and blessings. Don Martin looked at me and I went first. Some would say the guinea pig, which some raise under their beds for food in Peru.
I received both the rite and the blessing in the circle. Later, they made two lines to speed things up. I was told that one I was receiving one on the rites, over the incense that a flame shot up between my legs and Don Martin put it out. Maybe, it was my message from the universe lighting a candle under my ass and get moving.
After the ceremony we washed the stones in our altars in the lagoon to give them a cleansing. There was dancing, it was Dree’s birthday and she enjoyed many dances with two young medicine men as the music played on.
There was a group that took an offering to the top of the mountain. The rest, we hiked back down the mountain where we were all greeted by those who staid below with hugs and smiles. We had a great lunch of fish and rice and rested.
In the evening some of the villager came by for an allotment of rice, beans and cooking oil. They were all smiles and we all felt good.
That night, I got up to pee. As I was standing looking at the spot where the lagoon was I saw a shooting star. This star was brighter that all the others I has seen and it was if a ball of bright, white, light flew from the lagoon and into space. I was lucky to witness it. Later, I got back into my sleeping bag and dreamed that the spirit of the mountain came to me and gave me additional rites. I could feel the my body being moved as this dream was taking place. It was as real to me as the rites I had received previous my “real” people. I am still working through this download.
The next day, some of us, were doing a long walk from camp. It was maybe a 8 mile walk with a 3000 foot vertical at the end. But we would see heart shaped lagoons and have ceremony among them.
We were told to get a stone and blow in all our limiting beliefs into it. At first, I grab a big stone to hold all my such beliefs. I was showing people the big stone to hold all my shit and Alberto said that should be the first belief to let go of - I need a big stone. He was right. All the work I have done over the last couple years, the changes I have made and I still act like that fuck up kid from high school sometimes. Enough of that, I am really quite OK, thank you very much for the opportunities to improve. I got a smaller stone.
This was day of the winter solstice and when the sun rose over Pachatusan, we standing in between the conversation of the sun and the moon. Tammy, Gina and Sara and I just kind of stood there taking in all the love the sun and the moon where sharing. It was very cool to be at the axis of the universe while this conversation was happening.
The time came and us hikers headed off into the moon, we headed west . The walk was good. It is somehow cleansing to walk in the mountains. As I walked, many useless thoughts bubbled up and they were blow into the stone. We also used the stone to cleanse parts of the body that needed repair.
On the way I saw the eye from my Ayahuasca journeys in the form of a stone circle. It kind of blew me away that this theme keeps appearing in my journeys. However, there was a strong connection to this mountain, from last years ceremony on my birthday, having to be there his trip, to receiving rites from the mountain to seeing a strong symbol in my Ayahuasca journeys it all made me realist that there is something here for me to take into my life.
Our first stop was a rock outcropping where it was suppose to bring fertility if you touch it. Thinking that condoms are cheaper that fertility treatment, I gave it try. After a short rest and some photos we walked on. Finally, we came to a heart shape lake. Moving a little further we came to a semi heart shaped like where we would have a quick ceremony. First Don Martin and Don Pascal cleared the lake of the cows that were enjoying a drink there. Then the prepared the space as we ate lunch and rested.
It was a quick ceremony for we still had much to walk. We took our limiting belief stone and a cup of red wine. First we throw the wine into the lake and then the stone. The we made an offering of coca leaves and flowers to place in the lake. We then got blessed by Don Martin and Don Basillio.
With the ceremony over it was time to hit the road again. We walked a little further to come to a site on top of the world. There way down in the valley was a red, roofed church that was our destination. There were three or more crosses that pilgrims from the church would walk up to place blessings. I made a blessing for my mothers up coming surgery and placed it under a stone.
On the way down the trail was littered with plastic bottles and cigarette butts. I thought that after plastic is controlled we will have to organize litter travel trips where people go to all over remote sites in the world to pick up the plastic that is everywhere. We could melt it all down and find purpose for it worthy of a thousand years.
We walked and walked and walked down hill until our toes we screaming to be let out of our shoes. Or at least that was how it was for me. Finally, we made it to the church at the bottom to wait for the bus. There at the church in the back there was a little window with a waca. A waca is a intense energy that is somethings place on things to bring them in alignment with the world. This waca has been in existence for longer that the church. I held my hands to the waca and could feel a rush of energy around my heart like it was doing another cleaning. It was intense and I waited and went for another ride after we all had a turn.
My time in Peru has definitely cleared my heart. For the first time in years I feel I can show my true self without any attachment. It was great to have such a heart opening trip.
Later, I dreamt of a team of mountain climbers that was stranded on a mountain. The message was return with the gifts on the mountain. And once again the ending of a trip and the beginning of a journey.
Meeting Dr Ayahuasca
Our ayahuasquero, maestro, was impeccable, trained by the plant during the nine years he lived alone in the jungle. He prepares his brew in the jungle, fasting and praying as he harvest the ayahuasca from the a special vine and a certain type of chacruna leaf for his ceremonies. The vine and the leaves are cooked over a wood fire in the jungle until the right consistency is met. The whole time maestro is fasting and praying.
We have the opportunity to meet meet “Dr. Ayahuasca” the day we arrive. Ceremony at 8 PM. We enjoy a light lunch, but must skip dinner to partake. The first night we meet in a circular room in the jungle compound far from the rooms of the other guest. This is important, for later, there will be sounds of screaming, retching and vomiting.
We sit in a circle on well used cushions from old discarded lounge chairs. We are instructed to sit upright was we would when waiting for a a friend until Dr. Ayahuasca comes. We are also instructed to not drink water and refrain from vomiting for the first 30 minutes. Maestro comes around dispensing his brew. He travels the circle in a sun wise manner asking us what we want to work on, Health, Love, Wealth, Career, or Projects.
My turn comes and I choose health, I take the full and well worn cup and down the hatch it goes. The taste is vile. It feels as though that everyone else drank from a thimble and I some how drew a coffee can, in reality the cup is about 3 or 4 ounces. It immediately wants to come right back up, but with a couple of swallows and all the saliva I can muster it stays down for the time being. Next comes the rose water. It is poured into our hands and we cleanse our hands and face and inhale it up to our third eye. Then come the tobacco. Maestro has a ceremonial pipe that is cooked with the brew and he come over and blesses us and our altars with the smoke. When all is done we will smell like a night of bad behavior.
I wait for the good doctor as maestro walks around the center of the circle singing and whistling to us and holding sacred space. We are in ceremony.
At first I sit and then slowly I make it to lying down. The doctor is with me, I can feel him looking through my body looking for the places in need of healing. Last year when I had my first ayahuasca experience I did not vomit until the very end and that was one quick purge. In the back of my mind I am thinking that and wondering if I could get off so easy this time. No such luck.
I am resisting it, this need to purge and finally the doctor tells me to let it go. I get up and walk across the room to the toilet and struggle with the door. I finally figure out that you have to reach through the open window and open the lock from behind. I make to the toilet just in time. The retching starts in my toes and next I am vomiting like I have ate tainted meat in India again. The poison leaves my body, it is blood red as best I can tell in the candle light that keeps the bathroom lit. Will this stop, no another, then another and finally I can make to back to my cushion. I curl up in the fetal position and wait.
“I am taken into the ground of the jungle by the vines and woven into the fabric of the mother”. This is what I write in my journal the next day. It felt if I was being swallowed by the jungle and reorganized at my very core. It is like my DNA is being rearranged. I am lying on my back twisting and turing as this healing is taking place. I feel good as I am being rebuilt on this molecular level. And then I need to vomit. I resist and am reminded that a big part of healing is letting go, so I trudge to the bath room for the second purge of the night.
Back on the cushion I see my life reduce to a comic book. It was some 70’s cartoon comic book playing the bad scenes of my life with Frank Zappa playing in back ground. I watch with amusement as they are reduced to the ridiculous and torn from the book and balled up and tossed from my life. It is if the bad things that have defined me are being removed. Twice more during this process I have to vomit until there is nothing left to purge. The message is clear, do not hang on, let it go. This goes on and finally I am left with a shape like an strange eye that keeps appearing. But it not a living eye it more geometric, as shape that reminds me of something that I can not place, something archetypical.
Things are dying down and I return in my body to the cushion. On cue, Maestro ends the ceremony. I get up and am cold and spent. I walk back to my room and notice how much I have fallen in love with the jungle. We are on a nutshell path and the trees are lit by kerosene lanterns. It is beautiful. And I feel complete, at ease and in love with the jungle.
As I enter the room I try not to wake my roommate. No such luck the door make a huge squeak and I see him toss. I can’t remember if we exchange pleasantries or if he falls back to sleep, but I spend the better part of the next hour on the toilet clearing my bowels. Tonight is a double ended purge. I finally get some air and go to bed, but as I dose off one more little reminder of humility creeps out my ass and I am up to clean myself, letting it all go, including my pride. This ends the first night in the Amazon.
The next morning I feel fine, hungry, actually and though I miss yoga, I make to breakfast and have fresh fruit and banana bread.
After breakfast, we head across the river to Monkey Island. Our guides bring bananas to the monkeys every day. We take a walk in jungle and meet 4 or 5 different species of monkey. This day a little monkey, about the size of rabbit, uses my face as tree as it leaps from her tree to the table where the bananas are served. Reminder to never get between a wild animal and a free lunch. Back for lunch, a lounge in the hammock and ceremony at 8 PM.
Tonight we head to Monkey Island for an outdoor ceremony. The ceremony is held on this sand bar that is visible during the dry season. We take boats across the river and lay out the old worn cushions in a circle. The moon is about three quarters in partly cloudy sky. Tonight, I am asking for love and expect a sweet night on the beach. But the doctor has other plans.
My cushion is in the east, so is my journey, so I think that this is cool. The same ceremony as the night before take place. And soon, we are lying down with the doctor.
I soon realize that I have a cushion next to one or the girls that was screaming from the night before. Whatever, demon she is fighting it is not giving up easily. I try to show compassion, without trying to rescue her or take on her demon, but I can not enter fully the dream state of the doctor. And I am vomiting, like the night before. It is a vile, bitter, awful substance that leaves my body this night. In the sand I see a face of a bitter old man and realize that this was inside of me. My retching is coming from around my heart, clearing whatever defense that I place there from getting hurt again. I discover love is not always sweet, but being able hold space for someone in their struggles and being able to keep the heart free of bitterness. Maybe I will grow up someday, after all.
The ceremony ends and we pick ours selves up and mill around the beach as the guides call for the boats. “Bote, bote, bote” they yell. Soon a light and the sound of a outboard motor. I get first boat and make it back to my room. My roommate enter shortly, after taking the second boat.
I slept with out incident.
The next day we take a boat ride to one of the tributary rivers upstream. It is a pleasant walk in the forrest. We return and have lunch. Tonight is the final night of ceremony with the doctor and as much as I hate to drink that brew again I feel I have to. Our teacher calls us the “diehards” those you have to keep going back to the vine of the soul and her lessons.
This night we are again back on Monkey Island. The whole sky was cloudy except for a circle over head. There was lighting going off on the horizon and if we were not in ceremony I would have predicted rain. But we just knew that we where safe from the elements tonight.
I force down another cup of the brew and waited for the doctor to come. Tonight, I will be taking this ride through the perceptual states, of body, mind, energy and spirit.
I started in body at the first chakra and was slithering through the jungle like a snake. The jungle was very alive and had a florescent quality about it. The leaves of grass glow in their green as I was a snake in my domain. I climbed up a branch and surveyed the trees on the horizon. Then back down through the grass to the river where I eat a frog before shifting into the mind.
This was accessed at the second chakra and I immediately had to get up and vomit. I should not have ate the frog. It’s over quick, one pass around my heart to clear it. I get back to the cushion and started across the rainbow bridge when it clasps into a surf board and I keep riding this wave to infinity. It’s like all of time keep rolling under the board I an standing on. I can jump off an any time I want to or I could keep riding this for forever.
So I shift to the world of energy accessed at the sixth chakra and my world was transformed to trillions of rainbow color string vibrating forming the fabric of life. Into this world there appear these bubbles, that I understood as our thoughts and prayers that are bubbling up and changing the fabric of life. The fabric contorted and expanded around our thoughts and prayers and the strings would change their vibration, colors and sound as these bubbles come through. It was like viewing an interactive IMAX movie where the mood of the audience affected the outcome from inside the projector.
It is now time to bring my intention up to spirit where we all connect. I was immediately brought to a place of bliss. It was a surreal world and the geometric eye from the first night played a part in the architecture. There was a soft vibration in my ears and I felt much peace and love in this world. I was held in pure love when I felt a rushing from my heart into the world I was visiting. I asked what was that and the doctor told me that was pure love from my heart, you must feed this world with pure love so it can feed it back to your world.
Then I was back in my body, lying on Monkey Island in the Amazon, under a 3/4 moon, in a clear circle of sky with scorpio over head, bliss out, feeling a connection to all the creatures, all the plants, all the stones, dirt and grains of sand and all the people of the world. I was not alone, I was connected to my fellow shaman on the beach and to my fellow shaman having ceremony across the river and our dreams of the world were feeding the universe who in turn was feed us back what we dreamed. I was lying there in the sweetness of love that only the divine can bring. Wow what a way I have come, I never could have imaged a night like this as kid growing up.
It took a while for the ceremony to end. I lied there watching our maestro come around singing and whistling his songs as others where still in their dreams. I lied there feeling a profound since of gratefulness. I lied there feeling this strong connection to the jungle and to the whole world. I did not know what I had come to the Amazon for, until that moment.
The ceremony ended and I felt much love to all the participants. I wandered for group to group listening to their experiences and sharing some of mine. There was lots of hugging.
I finally made it back to my room and the sound of the jungle was amazing. I had never noticed so loud as before. There was laugher from another room which I saw as multi-colored ice cream cones rolling across the sky. I fell into a dream state and I was in a bed in the middle of the jungle. The bed was decorated with flowers and vines and was alone in a clearing surrounded by the jungle and lit by moonlight. As this symphony of bugs played on, I lied in this beautiful bed which I understood as my honeymoon bed for I was married to the jungle.
We have the opportunity to meet meet “Dr. Ayahuasca” the day we arrive. Ceremony at 8 PM. We enjoy a light lunch, but must skip dinner to partake. The first night we meet in a circular room in the jungle compound far from the rooms of the other guest. This is important, for later, there will be sounds of screaming, retching and vomiting.
We sit in a circle on well used cushions from old discarded lounge chairs. We are instructed to sit upright was we would when waiting for a a friend until Dr. Ayahuasca comes. We are also instructed to not drink water and refrain from vomiting for the first 30 minutes. Maestro comes around dispensing his brew. He travels the circle in a sun wise manner asking us what we want to work on, Health, Love, Wealth, Career, or Projects.
My turn comes and I choose health, I take the full and well worn cup and down the hatch it goes. The taste is vile. It feels as though that everyone else drank from a thimble and I some how drew a coffee can, in reality the cup is about 3 or 4 ounces. It immediately wants to come right back up, but with a couple of swallows and all the saliva I can muster it stays down for the time being. Next comes the rose water. It is poured into our hands and we cleanse our hands and face and inhale it up to our third eye. Then come the tobacco. Maestro has a ceremonial pipe that is cooked with the brew and he come over and blesses us and our altars with the smoke. When all is done we will smell like a night of bad behavior.
I wait for the good doctor as maestro walks around the center of the circle singing and whistling to us and holding sacred space. We are in ceremony.
At first I sit and then slowly I make it to lying down. The doctor is with me, I can feel him looking through my body looking for the places in need of healing. Last year when I had my first ayahuasca experience I did not vomit until the very end and that was one quick purge. In the back of my mind I am thinking that and wondering if I could get off so easy this time. No such luck.
I am resisting it, this need to purge and finally the doctor tells me to let it go. I get up and walk across the room to the toilet and struggle with the door. I finally figure out that you have to reach through the open window and open the lock from behind. I make to the toilet just in time. The retching starts in my toes and next I am vomiting like I have ate tainted meat in India again. The poison leaves my body, it is blood red as best I can tell in the candle light that keeps the bathroom lit. Will this stop, no another, then another and finally I can make to back to my cushion. I curl up in the fetal position and wait.
“I am taken into the ground of the jungle by the vines and woven into the fabric of the mother”. This is what I write in my journal the next day. It felt if I was being swallowed by the jungle and reorganized at my very core. It is like my DNA is being rearranged. I am lying on my back twisting and turing as this healing is taking place. I feel good as I am being rebuilt on this molecular level. And then I need to vomit. I resist and am reminded that a big part of healing is letting go, so I trudge to the bath room for the second purge of the night.
Back on the cushion I see my life reduce to a comic book. It was some 70’s cartoon comic book playing the bad scenes of my life with Frank Zappa playing in back ground. I watch with amusement as they are reduced to the ridiculous and torn from the book and balled up and tossed from my life. It is if the bad things that have defined me are being removed. Twice more during this process I have to vomit until there is nothing left to purge. The message is clear, do not hang on, let it go. This goes on and finally I am left with a shape like an strange eye that keeps appearing. But it not a living eye it more geometric, as shape that reminds me of something that I can not place, something archetypical.
Things are dying down and I return in my body to the cushion. On cue, Maestro ends the ceremony. I get up and am cold and spent. I walk back to my room and notice how much I have fallen in love with the jungle. We are on a nutshell path and the trees are lit by kerosene lanterns. It is beautiful. And I feel complete, at ease and in love with the jungle.
As I enter the room I try not to wake my roommate. No such luck the door make a huge squeak and I see him toss. I can’t remember if we exchange pleasantries or if he falls back to sleep, but I spend the better part of the next hour on the toilet clearing my bowels. Tonight is a double ended purge. I finally get some air and go to bed, but as I dose off one more little reminder of humility creeps out my ass and I am up to clean myself, letting it all go, including my pride. This ends the first night in the Amazon.
The next morning I feel fine, hungry, actually and though I miss yoga, I make to breakfast and have fresh fruit and banana bread.
After breakfast, we head across the river to Monkey Island. Our guides bring bananas to the monkeys every day. We take a walk in jungle and meet 4 or 5 different species of monkey. This day a little monkey, about the size of rabbit, uses my face as tree as it leaps from her tree to the table where the bananas are served. Reminder to never get between a wild animal and a free lunch. Back for lunch, a lounge in the hammock and ceremony at 8 PM.
Tonight we head to Monkey Island for an outdoor ceremony. The ceremony is held on this sand bar that is visible during the dry season. We take boats across the river and lay out the old worn cushions in a circle. The moon is about three quarters in partly cloudy sky. Tonight, I am asking for love and expect a sweet night on the beach. But the doctor has other plans.
My cushion is in the east, so is my journey, so I think that this is cool. The same ceremony as the night before take place. And soon, we are lying down with the doctor.
I soon realize that I have a cushion next to one or the girls that was screaming from the night before. Whatever, demon she is fighting it is not giving up easily. I try to show compassion, without trying to rescue her or take on her demon, but I can not enter fully the dream state of the doctor. And I am vomiting, like the night before. It is a vile, bitter, awful substance that leaves my body this night. In the sand I see a face of a bitter old man and realize that this was inside of me. My retching is coming from around my heart, clearing whatever defense that I place there from getting hurt again. I discover love is not always sweet, but being able hold space for someone in their struggles and being able to keep the heart free of bitterness. Maybe I will grow up someday, after all.
The ceremony ends and we pick ours selves up and mill around the beach as the guides call for the boats. “Bote, bote, bote” they yell. Soon a light and the sound of a outboard motor. I get first boat and make it back to my room. My roommate enter shortly, after taking the second boat.
I slept with out incident.
The next day we take a boat ride to one of the tributary rivers upstream. It is a pleasant walk in the forrest. We return and have lunch. Tonight is the final night of ceremony with the doctor and as much as I hate to drink that brew again I feel I have to. Our teacher calls us the “diehards” those you have to keep going back to the vine of the soul and her lessons.
This night we are again back on Monkey Island. The whole sky was cloudy except for a circle over head. There was lighting going off on the horizon and if we were not in ceremony I would have predicted rain. But we just knew that we where safe from the elements tonight.
I force down another cup of the brew and waited for the doctor to come. Tonight, I will be taking this ride through the perceptual states, of body, mind, energy and spirit.
I started in body at the first chakra and was slithering through the jungle like a snake. The jungle was very alive and had a florescent quality about it. The leaves of grass glow in their green as I was a snake in my domain. I climbed up a branch and surveyed the trees on the horizon. Then back down through the grass to the river where I eat a frog before shifting into the mind.
This was accessed at the second chakra and I immediately had to get up and vomit. I should not have ate the frog. It’s over quick, one pass around my heart to clear it. I get back to the cushion and started across the rainbow bridge when it clasps into a surf board and I keep riding this wave to infinity. It’s like all of time keep rolling under the board I an standing on. I can jump off an any time I want to or I could keep riding this for forever.
So I shift to the world of energy accessed at the sixth chakra and my world was transformed to trillions of rainbow color string vibrating forming the fabric of life. Into this world there appear these bubbles, that I understood as our thoughts and prayers that are bubbling up and changing the fabric of life. The fabric contorted and expanded around our thoughts and prayers and the strings would change their vibration, colors and sound as these bubbles come through. It was like viewing an interactive IMAX movie where the mood of the audience affected the outcome from inside the projector.
It is now time to bring my intention up to spirit where we all connect. I was immediately brought to a place of bliss. It was a surreal world and the geometric eye from the first night played a part in the architecture. There was a soft vibration in my ears and I felt much peace and love in this world. I was held in pure love when I felt a rushing from my heart into the world I was visiting. I asked what was that and the doctor told me that was pure love from my heart, you must feed this world with pure love so it can feed it back to your world.
Then I was back in my body, lying on Monkey Island in the Amazon, under a 3/4 moon, in a clear circle of sky with scorpio over head, bliss out, feeling a connection to all the creatures, all the plants, all the stones, dirt and grains of sand and all the people of the world. I was not alone, I was connected to my fellow shaman on the beach and to my fellow shaman having ceremony across the river and our dreams of the world were feeding the universe who in turn was feed us back what we dreamed. I was lying there in the sweetness of love that only the divine can bring. Wow what a way I have come, I never could have imaged a night like this as kid growing up.
It took a while for the ceremony to end. I lied there watching our maestro come around singing and whistling his songs as others where still in their dreams. I lied there feeling a profound since of gratefulness. I lied there feeling this strong connection to the jungle and to the whole world. I did not know what I had come to the Amazon for, until that moment.
The ceremony ended and I felt much love to all the participants. I wandered for group to group listening to their experiences and sharing some of mine. There was lots of hugging.
I finally made it back to my room and the sound of the jungle was amazing. I had never noticed so loud as before. There was laugher from another room which I saw as multi-colored ice cream cones rolling across the sky. I fell into a dream state and I was in a bed in the middle of the jungle. The bed was decorated with flowers and vines and was alone in a clearing surrounded by the jungle and lit by moonlight. As this symphony of bugs played on, I lied in this beautiful bed which I understood as my honeymoon bed for I was married to the jungle.
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